'NO! Bad man don't do dem tings' ¬_¬
OH how I am tired of hearing this BULLSHIT! It's 2011 and yet there are still some men out there that are adamant that they are not gonna sample the fandango. (RAGE) Why?
Boys that don't give head always come with the same STALE argument 'Fuck dat, I'm not eating pussy! You lot have periods and ting down there and you want me to put my mouth on it?' ¬_¬ YES YOU SIMPLETON! You have sweaty balls and hood cheese but you expect us to do it to you init? Fuck outta here! BITCH, you better get on your damn knees and eat this pussy like a man! Sheeet!
Another excuse these dickheads like to use it that their friends don't do it ¬_¬ Bruv, YOUR FRIENDS ARE LYING TO YOU. AT LEAST 5 OF THEM HAVE DONE IT/ARE DOING IT/ARE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING IT.
For YEARS dudes were complaining about girls that didn't want to give head like there was something wrong with us for not doing it, so now most of us have jumped on it. The joke ting is that the same men that were complaining about girls NOT giving head, are the same SELFISH ASSES that refuse to return the favor like this is some fucking free for all!
Ladies, I say that from now on, if your man won't go down on you, don't go down on them and see how much they like NOT getting head.
I would like to take this time out to commend every dude that is already on this EPIC head giving wave (whether you stunt like you don't do it or are proud to do it). You man are the way FORWARD because you KNOW that eating vaj is one of the best decisions you've ever made! All you BACKWARDS man need to holler at a rug muncher and let him tell you how certain aspects of his life has improved just because he does this.
Now I probably shouldn't be revealing these trade secrets, but Britain needs more coochie eaters dammit, 'cause America is overflowing with them :( that shit is UNFAIR.
Here are my reasons why men should give head:
1. Your girl will let more shit slide -if I'm lying, I'm flying! Real talk fellas, if you know how to eat a tunush RIGHT O_O OOOOWEEEEE we will let you get away with more shit. You can talk wicked all you want, borrow our car and not refill the tank, run up our phone bill, eat up all the food in the damn house, play COD until your friggin hands fall off -as long as you put your mouth where the hell it needs to be when we're ready, WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU DO! (I may have slightly over-exaggerated what you can get away with...ok well I did over-exaggerate -talk wicked to WHO? -but you can still get away with more things....like not using a coaster for your drink or some shit).
2. Your girl will treat you BETTER. Although the amount of British dudes that chow down has risen A LOT in the past year, there are still too many non-eaters, so when we females find one, we are playing for KEEPS 'cause if we let you loose there is too big a chance that our next dude will not be on that wave. Can you imagine going from being with someone that gives head on a regs, to someone that won't do it AT ALL O_O FUCK THAT!
3. Your girl will give you the greatest sex she has to offer. If you thought she was puttin' it on you before....bruv, you know NOTHING. That bitch can fuck you HEAPS better than she's letting on, but you aint given her head yet. Hand on my heart, take a trip downtown and she will UNLEASH the SUPER FREAK (and if she's a freak already...O_O like I said, you know NOTHING!)
4. More girls will be on you -FACT. The moment you tell a girl that you eat poom poom you INSTANTLY become more attractive to us because all we're thinking is --> =D skeeeeeen, is iiiiiittttttt
5. We're grown ass people now (I say this to people above 18 'cause the rest of you are too young to even be thinking about any kind of sex. Stop reading this and go look a book). I'm not going to explain that any further 'cause it is what it is. We're big. End of.
Now, all this being said, the same rules that I believe females should apply to oral sex, should apply to males too. It's all well and good that you give head, but don't do it to any and everybody you're messing with, that's just nasty. Luxuries (let me reiterate) LUXURIES like head must be earned and kept exclusively within a serious relationship -that's how the fuck I feel about it, but if that aint your style *shrug* that's ya business.
I hope that my words of infinite bad ass wisdom have persuaded you non-eaters to at least consider trying it. I STRONGLY recommend that you try it at least one time just to see the effects it has on your sex life.
LEAVE A COMMENT you lazy ass (I don't understand why you lot refuse to say shit back to my over-opinionated ass like I don't wanna hear what the fuck you think), click the stupid tick boxes below, if ur on this blogger ting then follow me, and for anyone that wants to get at me or see the other bad ass shit I do (like my bad ass story 'The Unfamous' which you ALL should read coz it's that friggin GOOD), all of my links are at the top of the friggin page.
Since it's relevant to this post, I shall end with one of the earlier SDTV vids from our first series -Head
(yes I am wearing a tiara and earmuffs! Kiss my ass so what!)