Now before I begin can we please all bow our heads and say a prayer for all them nasty ass bitches (men included) and the shit parents that raised them. I have never seen so much vagina and inadequate penis's in my life.
When I first jumped on Twitter I had no idea what everyone was on about, all I saw was everyone harping on about gay people...so naturally I was intrigued. When I finally switched onto the show I turned to Jigz and I said 'What is this? Why are they encouraging kids to have sex'. Honestly I couldn't understand why they were like 'Yeah go out there, get fucked in your batty, suck some cocks, eat some pussy, golden showers all around; but juts make sure you're safe *thumbs up and cheesy wink*!" O_O What is this? Really?
Now usually when they do these little teen sex shows it's pretty much like sex education in school; periods, where a dick goes and 'hey have a free condom', but no; that was too polite for Channel 4. As informative as it was, let's be honest, we were all watching extremeist fetish porn with narrative.
I would like to officially begin my rant with the first thing I saw (as usual I will use my handy little headings):
Now anyone that follows me on Twitter (if you don't then, well, you just suck ass don't you) should know by now that I LOVE THE GAYS. I think that gays are bad ass cause they dress sick, they say camp shit like 'fabulous' *insert over the top finger snap here* and they take dick up the butt. Gay people are fucking SOLDIERS and need more ratings (it takes a strong man to have his battyhole opened up), so you can imagine how annoyed I was when people started passing lame ass homphobic comments. ¬_¬ Real talk, it's 2011; they're here, they're queer, get the FUCK over it 'cause your ass just looks straight ignorant. I thought that it was stupid that people were saying 'Errrgh why are they showing this, I don't wanna see this' ¬_¬ yeah cause they're showing it for YOU init. IT'S THERE SO THAT OTHER BATTY SHY GAY BOYS CAN GET ADVICE DIP SHIT!
I don't give a FUCK, Channel 4 get ratings for that; FUCK a discrimination.
One thing I didn't get though was how a gay man was scared to get dick. You're gay, dick is right up your alley -no pun intended (lol well it was intended but *shrug* you know lol). Yes, anal sex is going to be painful but you chose to like man, you knew this was part of the deal so lube up sonny jim.
Bitches love spending money on too much dumb shit. The Only Way Is Essex started this damn epidemic of sparkly fandangos, and when Ch 4 showed what one looked like I pushed up my face 'cause it looked fucking stupid and if you ask me it's a damn waste of money. Why are these girls walking around with fucking discoball vaginas like some damn discount pornstars. My advice is, if man dem like looking at shiny fannies so much, cover yours in some vaseline (fuck it, that's still too much money for this bullshit -make it some Brixton market petroleum jelly) then shake some damn arts and crafts glitter on it. TA DA, it's a vajazzle!
Jizz in the mouth
O_O When that woman came on the screen with her man and said that his spunk tasted sour the first thing that came into my mind was 'Why the fuck is his jizz in your mouth simple bitch?'
If I was the sex helper lady I woulda told that bitch staright, "When you see his leg clench up, and he let's the bitch inside of him out with that moan that he has been tryna hold in the whole time, and his face is screwed up, take it out your damn mouth, let your hands do the rest of the work and aim his piece so it lands somewhere on him." REAL! Instead this simple bitch tells this woman to make her man eat some fucking pineapple so it will taste sweeter. Pineapples aint even in season right now so watch the supermarkets sell out of it QUICK FAST cause of these tickle dick lil boys, "It's all right now babe, it's sweet, it's sweet." ¬_¬ what part of 'sweet spunk' sounds any better than 'sour spunk'? IT'S STILL FUCKING SPUNK. No thanks, I'll pass.
When the sex helper lady sugessted that the man taste his own semen I thought YES! I think when all you boys have your bedtime wank tonight you should sample yourself and then maybe you won't be so on trying to buss where you shouldn't.
When this topic came up I finally understood the DIRE need for a show like this. Is Britain made up of simple herpes wanting bitches or something? How can you LOOK at someone and tell if they have an STI or not. Do you have an integrated STI detector in your damn vagina? Bitches like that deserve to get AIDS ¬_¬ stupid girl. GO LOOK CONDOM!
Don't even get me started on that 16 year old that found every excuse under the sun not to use contraception. If I was her mother she wouldn't be lookin no contraception coz her fast ass would know to keep her legs closed. If she even looked at a penis she would be getting a karate chop in her damn neck O_O 'Keep your eyes above the equator bitch. Aint shit for you down there'.
Did you hear what that girl said about some dude licking a fucking GENITAL WART out of some girl's VAGINA! WHAT IS THIS?
Fuck it, if I have a daughter, straight chastity belt flex. No long ting. I am burying the key to that shit in a slab of concrete under a mat in the back yard until she's 18. You need to earn the right to dick first. Don't stress me.
I don't have a dick, but when that needle buss through mans piece O_O O_O O_O, I felt it *shivers*. Why would you do that 2 yourself? If you want to increase your sexual pleasure, start fucking people who know what the fuck they are doing...or smoke some weed. Either one works.
Anyway that's all I care to say. Trust and know I will be watching again next week (as I know will some mandem equipped with a bottle of lotion, a box of Kleenex and a fucking PINEAPPLE).
As usual get at me via my links at the top of the page.
I've been bad ass, you've been *shrug* eh -thanks for reading =D.