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CEO of Swear Down TV//Radio host on Swear Down Radio//Writer of 'The Unfamous'//Blogger//BAD ASS//

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Monday, 21 March 2011

Please Kill Rebecca Black

Hey bad asses, I'm back and on the attack! 

I haven't shared my general dislike for stupid things on here in a while as I've been busy with SDTV related things (and being 5 different types of AWESOME of course), so as I'm doing fuck all I decided to blog.

I was racking my brain for something to write about that would inspire and delight...but that was effort so I settled for taking the piss out of that DIPSHIT Rebecca Black.

This simple bitch has been trending on Twitter for the past week because of her BULLSHIT SONG; Friday. 

¬_¬ Never in my life have I wanted to slap a child so bad. 

I used to think that Justin Bieber was annoying (for no particular reason other than I enjoy disliking things that everyone else likes), but THIS BITCH has robbed his crown as DICKHEAD OF THE YEAR. She's like a Disney kid that didn't quite make it, crossed with a retard.

Now this song of hers is worse than Kim Kardashian's failed attempt at music. She can't fucking sing (and what makes it worse is that they use autotune and all that other studio junk to try and make it better and she still sounds like a cat that is getting run over repeatedly with a push bike. I mean REALLY; do you know how WHACK your voice has to be to sound bad with AUTOTUNE!?! FAIL!), she has a stupid face (you know those faces that make you want to punch it), the video is high end BUDGET, and the lyrics ¬_¬ let me put it this way...she sounds like she repeated the 3rd grade several times and was in the bottom set for ALL of her lessons. I refuse to believe that she will graduate with ANY qualifications (can you say G.E.D). If I'm going to base her intelligence off of her lyrical content then I would say that she should just quit school and go and apply for a job in Mc Donald's...or learn how to suck a mean dick; which ever one comes first *shrug*.

So the video starts with an animated version on her face on some rebore post-it note calender and the days of the week fly by with the stuff that she's gonna do, e.g Monday -Test today, Tuesday -More homework, Wednesday -Music practice, Thursday - some other UNINTERESTING shit that no one gives a FUCK about blah blah blah, and then it's FRIDAY- HOORAY! While this stupid calender of deadness it flicking through she is ad-libbing over it BADLY. 

So she finally starts singing (if that's what you can call it) and you see her getting ready for school, then she goes to a fake bus stop and gets in the car with her friends ¬_¬. At this point I'm thinking 'What was the point of the bus stop and why the hell are 12 year olds driving a convertible?' 

She then spends the pre-hook contemplating which seat she's going to sit in LIKE SHE HAS A FUCKING CHOICE WHEN THERE'S ONLY 1 FUCKING SEAT LEFT!

Kickin' in the front seat 
Sittin' in the back seat 
Gotta make my mind up 
Which seat can I take?


Then comes the chorus; ¬_¬ let's just say that it gives me RAGE in my CHEST whenever I hear it:

Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend

Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend

Are you seeing what I'm saying when I say the lyrics are BASIC?

To be totally honest, when I first heard this song I thought it was a joke because it really is that BAD. How can the song have  likes but 73,632 dislikes. That like to dislike ratio is FUCKED UP! 

Sometimes I just click on the video just so I can dislike it AGAIN *clicks dislike button for the 73,633rd time* TAKE THAT REBECCA BLACK!

So as the video continues the 12 year olds are now dressed up in the convertible on the way to a party accompanied by a very obvious green screen background to hot up the fact that the are going NOWHERE. 

Can I just point out that aside from Miss Black all of the other tweens in the car are now different people. This poses the question 'who's fucking car is it?'

Now as if we all didn't thing she was mentally challenged enough before, she moves onto the bridge. These are the lyrics:

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday 
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin') 
We-we-we so excited 
We so excited 
We gonna have a ball today 

Tomorrow is Saturday 
And Sunday comes after ... wards 
I don't want this weekend to end 



Now I must say that as much of a loser that Rebecca Black is, no one is a bigger loser than this HARD BACK, FRASS FACED, FAKE BLING, GHETTO WANNABE, DISGRACE OF A BLACK MAN that actually had the CHEEK and AUDACITY to jump on the song and RAP! 

When I saw him I polished my gun and put him at the top of my hit list (Cher Lloyd you'll have to wait, I have bigger fish to fry). 

Not only did he sound like a complete and utter TWAT, but he also managed to come across a potential kiddy fiddler. Observe:

I'm drivin', cruisin' (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin' lanes
Wit' a car up on my side (Woo!)
(C'mon) Passin' by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream


Now I went to check the video comments to see some top class insults, but it seems that youtubers are losing there touch, so I opted for Twitter instead because that's where the real assholes reside. Here are a few of my fave Rebecca Black tweets =)

 Stewie Griffinn 
Roses are red, violets are blue, if Rebecca Black wins ANY awards, Kanye you know what to do...
 Coleen Estoque 
"she(Rebecca Black) is the reason why i support abortion." XD
 Charlie Sheen 
Rebecca Black, we don't hate you because you're famous. You're famous because we hate you.
 Asma Al Rafi 
I just read a column in Al Bayan, an Arabic newspaper, aboutRebecca Black's song earning a prize for "The Worst Song Ever"
No wonder Rebecca Black didn't take the bus, she would have had a panic attack from all the seating options.
 Adam Willis 
Rebecca Black is still stuck in my fucking head and it's been 2 days. I think I might need to kill myself.
 Hannah Fraser 
Rebecca Black:"Which seat can I take?" Me: "The electric one

If you lot haven't had the displeasure of watching this garbage and the satisfying feeling of clicking the dislike button then here is the video:

So yeah, that's all I can think of saying on that matter. Until next time my pretties *cackles and flies off on broom*

1 comment:

  1. I agree. She should be bludgeoned. But remember that her cunt mother needs to die, too, for paying the $4000 to get this nasty, vile song produced in the first place. So, kill them both.