About Scotty

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CEO of Swear Down TV//Radio host on Swear Down Radio//Writer of 'The Unfamous'//Blogger//BAD ASS//

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Tuesday, 28 December 2010

Twitter Rage

Hello my lucky bad ass readers. It has only been a few hours and I'm already chatting shit on another blog post that will make you smile (or actually laugh out loud if what I say is funny enough *crosses fingers*. Lol I'm playing, I don't care if you laugh. Matter of fact, I don't even care if you like it!)

Right, so as usual I was on Twitter and after many whimsical, witty and wonderful tweets, retweets, @'s and the ever dependable #FollowFriday's, I finally hit 500 followers *takes a bow*. This EPIC success (I know it's not actually epic you kill joy) inspired me to write a blog about Twitter.

I'd like to start with saying, ANYONE THAT DOESN'T HAVE A TWITTER SUCKS ASS! That's not even my opinion (well it is, but whatever), that's a fact of LIFE.

I genuinely don't understand why some people still think that Facebook is where it's at like they haven't noticed the decrease of status updates on their news feed.

WE'RE ALL ON TWITTER NOW DUMB ASS. Get with the friggin programme!

Facebook is now the new MySpace; the only thing saving it from total abortion is that we can post pictures, make groups, play retarded ass games and other things of that nature. That being said, these things don't save Facebook from being uncool <ever notice how the word uncool is actually really uncool?

One of the reasons that Twitter is better than Facebook is that because all you can do is tweet, you actually get to know people's personalities -as opposed to Facebook where you add someone and generally never talk to them.

Now I'm not going to stunt like Twitter is the best thing since sliced bread (even though it kinda is) because it also has its flaws (which I will list and make fun of accordingly).

The first thing that is wrong with Twitter is #TeamFollowBack ¬_¬. #TeamFollowBack is a monumental group of monumental LOSERS that generally don't tweet anything of interest but sit and BEG people to follow them. Their only aim is to have extremely large amounts of followers so that they can feel important, when in reality no one actually gives a fuck about who these individuals are or what they have to say.

We all like having lots of followers, but followers should be earned #TweetLaw.

Some people do sly #TeamFollowBack movements where they somehow find your profile and then @ you for a follow along with various other random names. In my eyes these people are just as bad as SPAM. I'm not following you ¬_¬ fuck off.

Another thing that is wrong with Twitter are these stupid ass Twitter cults. Basically, there is a hierarchy on Twitter (and we all know it) made up of hood celebs and bait faces (I don't need to drop names because if you are on Twitter then you already know who these people are). Now I assume that these people do not feel that being 'bait' is enough for them, so they go to unnecessary lengths to make exclusive groups that only the people they approve of can join. I know what you are thinking "What's the point of these groups?" (that probably wasn't what you were thinking, but whatever) ¬_¬ the answer is THERE IS NO POINT! They make these 'special groups' just to say that are in them so that people will think that they are important, when in reality it just makes us think that they are dickheads because we all know why they do these silly things.

To be perfectly honest, the best people to follow are those that aren't part of those groups because they are most likely not to be on a constant image ting (I will say that SOME of them are good tweeters though. Not ALL of them, just some).

Image tings are BIG on Twitter. The amount of stunting and BUM SUCKING that goes on is enough to make you want to punch your laptop in the hard drive. Because people can say what they want on Twitter with virtually no repercussions, some people create completely different personalities to how they are in real life. I hate this because -if you haven't picked up on it by now -I'm all about realness. FUCK a FAKE!  Twitter gives total nobodies the opportunity to become somebodies and most of the time these people get gassed on their likkle piece of Twitter fame (and it is only Twitter fame because outside of Twitter, nobody cares about them) and abuse it and start talking RECK.

Another image ting on Twitter is that people will mention 'somebodies' *rolls eyes* in their tweets for no apparent reason, just to show that they can. These people should low it. 'Bait' by association doesn't make you look cool, it makes the person you are bum sucking seem more important.

Now, as I don't posess a Blackberry, I don't have the luxury of Uber Twitter. The reason I believe that Uber Twitter is a luxury is because apparently you can mute the people you follow if you think they chat too much shit. Muting is basically the same as 'hiding' someone on your Facebook news feed. OOOOH there are some people that I would RELISH muting. The simple solution would be to unfollow them, but if you are following a friend (out of obligation of course) you can't really unfollow them cause you'll look like an asshole.

Sometimes the shit chatting from some people is so intense that you will risk looking like an asshole for the sake of your blood pressure.

Another thing I can't stand about Twitter is when people constantly tweet at celebrities like they are going to get a reply. STOP BEGGING FOR LOVE, YOU LOOK LIKE A STALKER. I don't know why people think that the rules of what makes you a stalker changes just because the person is famous. They are still people, hence you still look creepy when you say shit like "@NICKIMINAJ I would drink your bath water and be your slave for a day" <-- I didn't make that up, someone actually tweeted that. I guess PRIDE is not for everyone *shrug*.

I also despise people that follow me or ask for a follow back and never @ me. This aint Facebook; them antics don't run.

Lastly, before I get ghost I would like to say this: NOT EVERY CONVERSATIONRQUIRES A RETWEET BEFOR YOU REPLY TO IT. STOP BEING HAPPY THAT SOMEONE @'ED YOU. It's so fucking annoying when people tweet basic shit to someone and that person feels the need to include the previous tweet in their reply like there was ANY element of interest in it: RT @TweetleDee: @TweetleDum Hi babe how are you < I'm fine. ¬_¬ PERFECT EXAMPLE OF WHEN THERE IS NO NEED FOR THE RETWEET.

Aside from the annoying bits, Twitter is FAN-FRIGGING-TASTIC!

D'you know what else is Fan-frigging-tastic? MY TWITTER. If you like reading my blogs, can you imagine how entertaining my tweets must be? Unfathomably entertaining that's what; so you'd better follow me *gives the evil eye*

P.S. only ask for a followback if you're funny. I don't follow back basic tweeters "Chillin' at home" ¬_¬ SO WHAT?

But yeah, that's about all I have to say on that matter. Click the links at the top of the page to get at me.

Love Scotty

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