About Scotty

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CEO of Swear Down TV//Radio host on Swear Down Radio//Writer of 'The Unfamous'//Blogger//BAD ASS//

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Monday, 20 December 2010

F*CK a New Years Rave!

Whaddup ya'll! What it look like, what it do?  (you're diggin my frass American intro init coz it makes me sound all cool and shit, right?)

RIGHT, New Years Eve is coming up and promoters are just flooding your friggin event invite list and inboxes on Facebook because they want you to come and celebrate New Years at their raves. 

I for one, am not as hot on raving as I used to be, because most of the time raves are basically the same anyway. It's the same bait venues, with the same bait DJs and pretty much the same people that you endure at other raves. That being said, as soon as New Years rolls around promoters think that it's okay for them to bump the prices up as if their rave is going to be anything fucking special. They aint giving you no fireworks, free champagne or even a friggin balloon. The only things they ever hand out are fuckin GLOW STICKS that are fucking useless after that night, and a piece of shit whistle (or a horn if you're lucky ¬_¬). Whoops, I forgot, you may also get the free CD that you don't actually want.

Can someone please explain to me how the FUCK 'Early Bird' tickets can be £20. Is my name dickhead

£20 is the price that you pay if you're a dude and you reach a rave after 11pm . How can they have the CHEEK to be asking for them kinda of p's as a starting price like it's some special offer for the same old shit! These times I can stay home, get drunk and dance in my room FOR FREE

The next piss take is that after the 'Early bird' tickets are gone the prices sky rocket like they don't know that we're in a flippin RECESSION. Times are hard, credit crunch and all, so how can you ask man to give up £50+ for your BASIC ass rave like its acceptable. I should scissor kick you in the FACE

The next thing is, when you think 'Nah fuck it, I'm not paying that much to do the same shit I do in a regular rave, so I'm gonna look else where' -else where being the more up market clubs - and you see the prices that these asswipes are asking for, you just have to think; is this life? These fancy pants places are asking for £70+. 

It's like you can't catch a fucking break out here. Regular raves are taking the piss because they don't deserve to get that much money from you, and upmarket raves are asking for a deposit on a flippin house (I know I'm over exaggerating, but I don't care).

Now I know I sound like a tight ass...because I am (and what), but what you lot need to consider is how much this ONE night of mediocre fun is costing you. 

Let me break it down for you. Tickets for these raves are £20-50 (if you're lucky), then obviously cause it's some fancy pants New Years rave you need to make sure you look spice, so you get your hair/nails/feet/eyebrows/eyelashes done (tick all that apply) and you have to buy a new outfit with accessories and shoes to match. THAT was just entrance to the club and your outfit sorted (work out an estimate and tell me if already you have mentally spent too much time, effort and money for this one degga degga rave). 

NEXT there's the whole transport thing. If you have a car that's petrol money, if you're taking a taxi that's cab fare, and if you're taking public transport not only will you have to top up your oyster/buy a travel card, but you also have to stand outside dressed in next to nothing in the fucking cold waiting for the damn bus/train to come, with bare other party go-ers milling around you like friggin VERMIN

Already I can feel the rage building in my chest and I aint even experiencing this shit, this is just me writing about it. I don't need this kind of pressure in my life. NOW, you're finally at the rave and you're in some LONG ass queue shivering your vagina/balls off in the cold (have you seen that snow outside ¬_¬ let me not start), and every couple of minutes a bunch of pricks see their friends and push in front of you like you aint been there for an hour already cause the fucking bouncers are on some LONG TING

You lot are feeling the imaginary rage in your chest now init? I can sense it through the keyboard. 

FINALLY after half a lifetime of waiting you get inside, put your shit in the cloakroom (watch them bump it up for that aswell ¬_¬ '£3 O_O !Bitch kiss my ass, I'll hold my damn coat') then you go to the bathroom (you know how we females can't go to the dance floor till we are POSITIVE we are looking RIGHT) and the place is nasty! There's weave and wet tissue all over the damn sink, toilet paper is running LOW, the seats have piss on them cause of some nasty bitch, the whole place smells of vagina and economy air freshener, and there's some African lady in the corner staring you out so you will buy a 10p lollipop for a £1. You'd think that with all the extra money they are charging you they could keep the fucking toilets at an acceptable level but NO ¬_¬. 

So you hit the dance floor and you dance to the same old songs and as usual you get hassled by a few unsavoury looking dudes that can't take the hint, then you decide that you want to go to the bar for a drink only to find out that the prices are higher. Why? Because it NEW YEARS, that's why! 


As usual I hadn't meant to go on for so long, but the rage took control of me. I apologise (half-heartedly of course =D).


Honestly a house party is the best option. It's FREE, you can get drunk AND high (or neither, it's your choice. Personally I prefer the latter) AND there's food O_O what more can you ask for?

*Chants whilst thrusting fist in the air like a pagan* HOUSE PARTIES ROCK, RAVES SUCK COCK

*Realises what I'm doing and looks away ashamed* I apologise again :/. Honestly, it sounded better in my head.

Anywho, you know what to do: 

1. Tell a friend about my bad ass blog 

2. Follow me

3. Ask me ANYTHING (at your own risk O_O) 

4. And watch my damn show

Love Scotty

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