I've been saying I was going to write this post for a bit and the urge to vent just took me by surprise so I decided to jump on my bad ass blog and drop some bad ass truths (ya'll know how I do *pops collar*)
Now as you lot should all have picked up on by now, I'm not the girliest girl around *flips the bird and laughs*, but ALAS under my tough, super cool, bad ass exterior, I am all soft fuzzy and warm (and all that other nice generic girly bullshit) -bear with me bad asses...it's about to get mushy-ish.
I love ROMANCE. Yeah I said it, I LOVE that over the top, make you wanna cringe, Romeo and Juliet, I will love you until my last breath, tummy fluttering, heart racing, I forgot how to breathe ROMANCE...so you can imagine how perpetually annoyed I am with the way society today operates in the 'courting' (that word seems so lame to say now, like seriously, who fucking COURTS anyone these days?) department.
What I've noticed that with our generation is that the older we get, the less romantically inclined we seem to become. Why? It makes no sense. When we were young and broke we were inventive and made an effort to woo (another lame ass word) someone, but now that we have freedom, a bit more life experience and sufficient funds to spend, we're on some bullshit. Am I the only one that thinks that that's backwards?
Now when I say romance I'm not just talking about being showered with materialistic things, I'm talking about the feelings that romance conjures that made becoming intimate with someone more epic! (I realise I am losing bad man brownie points right now, but fuck it, I'm bad ass enough to keep my overall rep intact *bullet*)
I remember when you'd meet a guy, exchange numbers -remember those? No? They're the handy things we used to use before those pieces of shit Blackberry's took over and everyone decided the the best form of conversation was to PING someone instead of ringing them to actually SPEAK to them -you'd have a few awkward convo's to get a feel for each other, eventually you'd get comfortable with each other and you'd go on a date (usually the cinema). Afterwards you'd chat a bit more, catch a bite to eat, talk some more, then he'd walk you to the bus stop and just before you parted ways you'd look at each other longingly wondering if he was gonna be fast and kiss you on the first date while you FULLY contemplated letting him do it (don't lie).
There used to be this big epic build up to the first kiss. I dunno, it was like we would keep putting it off until we couldn't contain ourselves any more, and then finally he'd give you 'the look' and you'd look back, then look away shyly coz you realised that he was giving you that OFFICIAL 'kissing time' stare. He'd inch a little closer and you'd feel your heart speed up a little and your temperature rise, then he'd touch you (cup your chin, stroke your cheek, pull you to him by your waist yada yada yada) and you'd be closer than you had ever been to him. He'd smell of Lynx Africa (back in the day that Lynx was just standard for every man lol) and the detergent that his mum washed his clothes with, and you'd try to remember how to breathe coz it would be TENSE. By this point the 'fuck it' function in your brain had switched on and it's all systems GO! You respond to his touch, lean in slowly -like you see them do in the movies -and instinctively your eyelids get heavy. His face comes closer and you can feel the heat emitting from his skin then suddenly his lips are pressed against yours for the tester kiss (you know that gentle one just so you can both register that YES you are in fact finally kissing and WOW his lips are soft!) and once that is out of the way, the REAL kissing starts and it is fucking AMAZING! And that's all you guys do, you kiss (inappropriate groping and grinding may occur depending on how good the kiss is) but that's as far as it goes. writing that made me want to kiss someone right the fuck now *looks around the empty room* kmt ¬_¬ lol.
Now I'm not saying that that stuff is not about now, but it's one of them ones where the most likely scenario will be that you meet a guy, exchange pins/facebooks/twitters, chat to each other for a bit THEN exchange numbers. You then call each other late at night and get some harmless pillow talk, which naturally after a few calls will lead to heavier stuff, then you decide to link up, aka you go to his house, he pops in one SHIT DVD that neither of you want to watch, you snuggle up under the covers and then his hands start to wander, and the film has you so bored that fucking him wins the 'most exciting' competition easily, then boom bam, tings ah gwan init.
This whole situation has got me wondering who's fault it is that the latter scenario is the most common. Are men to blame or women?
On one hand I would say that men are to blame because they are the dominant sex so when it comes to dates and taking control of the more intimate situations (as our society relies on men to make the first move) and things of that nature, they hold the cards, so if they are not the romantic type then the girl deals with the standard stuff.
Also, boys are more prone to worrying about their masculinity and what their peers will think; being a sweet boy is not really something that is viewed as 'cool' so boys tend to shy away from being that way. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that this is the way that all boys function because there are some more romantically inclined boys out there...I just think that they are harder to find *shrug*.
Another point is that now more than ever men are treating women like conquests; the more girls they can get their leg over, the better, and with that mentality it would take too much time, money and effort to woo every girl they wanted to noog.
In contrast, the blame for the decline in romance could be put on females because we have allowed ourselves to lower our standards -to a certain extent -and some of us have a warped view of how a man should be. Because romance is rarer, any piece of romance (that looks like some effort has been made) is normally enough to satisfy us e.g he invites you to his yard but HE cooks for YOU (I know nuff gyal get gassed off of dem flexes :/ like shut up init, he gave you Pot Noodle and Kool Aid with no sugar but you're there gassed on 'it's the though that counts' ¬_¬ FUCK A THOUGHT!...sorry the rage just bubble up in me for a moment there lol).
In addition to that, some girls see men being romantic as making them appear less manly, so they in turn treat him like a prick or let that put them off of him, which I feel may be another reason as to why some boys aren't really on that flex. Men believe that the majority of women want a bad boy so that is what they aspire to be to different degrees. All of you girls that think like that need a punch in the temple! How can someone treating you the way you are SUPPOSED to be treated be a turn off? What kind of foolishness is that?
I think another factor (which I will include myself in) is that some girls are saying 'Fuck You' to being lady like and opt for being REAL instead. The more open and honest we become, the less of a lady we appear to be, so as some of us may not act like ladies outright, boys feel no need to be gentlemen (but then that argument can work the other way too, maybe we are sidestepping being 'ladies' because there are a lack of gentlemen).
I guess we're both to blame.
It angers me to watch romantic films/TV shows, or read tortured love stories because they gas you until you come back down to earth and realise that the chances in finding a guy that wants to indulge you in a whirlwind romance is pretty slim ¬_¬.
You know them ones where you foolishly watch Love and Basketball then reflect back on your old relationships and go 'That fucker didn't creep into my window at night like some black Zorro and take my virginity to Maxwell! Fuck him and his Chinese take away, shit DVD, tickle dick finger self!'
Seriously, every time I read Twilight I want to beat a boy down with the hench hard back copy of Breaking Dawn 'Why the fuck can't you be like Edward? Is it too much to ask for you to immerse yourself in my very existence? ASSHOLE!'
I think that in 2011 romance should make a comeback. We all have it in us, so instead of this 'wham bam thank you mam, now get out of my house before my mum gets home' biz, we should embrace the intensity of the love songs that we sing along to.
If you're gonna look for a partner look for someone to fall in love with rather than someone to fuck and dash weh. The world would be a better place dudes *sings and sways* What the world needs now, is love sweet love.
But anyway, I dunno whether I made all the points that I wanted to make but man's tired init.
Love, Peace and Trees x