Now I understand that there are still a vast amount of simple bitches roaming around, so Scotty is coming to the rescue with a large dose of bad assness to help save you from yourselves before the simpleness takes over completely.
In this blog I am going to fuck with the man dem a lil *evil grin* ha ha ha!
I'm going to expose a few tricks that they use to get girls to like them/give up the tunush; that's right, I am going to decode GAME.
So I've been dabbling with the idea of getting the whole of the SDTV (Swear Down TV for those who don't know) team together to do a video on this (look out for it), but until then I shall drop a few things that you lot should look out for.
I know some of you are probably thinking O_o what? How the hell does insulting girls count as game? If that is what you thought then you are one of the simple bitches I am trying to save.
Let me explain....
We all love a bit of banter, do we not? Right; so one of the best ways to create banter is to cuss each other. Boys will use insults in different forms. The most common is to insult you on a regular basis so that every once in a while when they drop a compliment you'll get gassed and think 'Aww, he doesn't normally say stuff like that to me. He must really mean it. =)'
NO SIMPLE BITCH IT'S A TRICK!
I'm not saying that their compliments aren't genuine, because sometimes they are...but even then it's still a trick because more time there's an incentive behind it. He's probably trying to soften you up for something *shrug*.
Receiving compliments are nice, but I urge you to take them with a pinch of salt. Some of them say nice things to gas you; you must remain in anti-gas mode at all times. Boy's are getting smart. It's not safe out there!
The next most common form of 'insult game' is the backhanded compliment. This is where they will compliment you but insult you at the same time.
Example: 'How can you walk around with your hair looking like that? you're lucky you're pretty you know.'
See these things are tricky because your initial response is to be offened...but then you think '...He thinks I'm pretty' * initialise gassed mode*, and because it is the lesser of two evils, girls tend to laugh off the insult and focus on the compliment.
This trick works for guys because they are being nice...but not TOO nice so you can't take them for a dickhead.
2. Planting The Seed
This approach is pretty simple and to be honest both men and women can pull this off if it is done right.
Planting the seed is something that you do or say to someone to leave them wanting more. It's a form of game that does the work for you because it is built on anticipation.
Verbally, something as simple as saying 'The next time I see you I'm going to *insert something blush worthy here*' will work. If you say something like this to someone that has shown interest in you;
1: it will give them something to think about
2: the next time they are around you they will be anticipating whatever it is you told them you were going to do.
The physical version of 'seed planting' has to be done quite tentatively but sensually at the same time. This is something that is very easy to get gassed on so -as I said before -remember that it's a TRICK!
E.g. if they are telling you goodbye and they kiss you on your cheek BUT it is REAAAALLLLYYYY close to your mouth.
That wasn't an accident; they did it on purpose! Crafty fuckers!
It's one of those 'I could kiss you if I wanted to...but I'm not going to just yet. I want you to want me to do it more than you do already first so hopefully when I do put it on you you'll be so gassed that you'll allow me to go a bit further than you originally intended'.
This is the BIGGEST TRAP OF THEM ALL because technically THEY'RE NOT DOING SHIT! It's YOU that is enabling this to work, simple bitch.
All the boy has to do is ask you BASIC OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS then sit back and let you run off at the mouth so you can fill the silence with uninteresting, irrelevant gas. More time he's not even really listening to you; he's paying you the minimum amount of attention possible that still allows him to respond when needed
'Uh huh...yeah...ok...is it!'
The baitest one is 'How was your day?'
Once he has asked you that and you start gassing about your shitty job, how stressful uni is or who is pissing you off, he's nice! You're there tellin him about EastEnders like he gives a fuck, and he's got you on loud speaker while he's making a damn club sandwich.
To avoid making the listening teck work, keep your answers to the point and ask him questions back. It can be a 2-way gas convo.
No matter how much you THINK a boy likes you, bear in mind that you may not be the only girl he is trying to get at.
When running game on you, boys will do/say things to make you feel special because they KNOW that if you BELIEVE you are a priority instead of an option (which you most likely are) then it is easier to get you to do things for them. They may point out how much more time they spend focused on you than any other girl, how 'different' you are to the rest, take you on dates, buy you gifts, etc; anything that will make you feel like you matter.
Even if this is genuine, it's still a tactic. BEWARE. Until you have a ring on it, you are not -I repeat NOT a priority....and sometimes even if you do have a ring, you still may not even be a priority.
The shit is fucked up man. No one is safe.
The best tip I can give you is if you are gonna allow someone to gas you, make sure it's worth the headache.
I was gonna do 5 things to look out for...but then I got bored of writing *shrug* sorry...well not really but...yeah *shrugs again*.
Anyway like I said, there will be an SDTV video on this topic soon so keep your eyes peeled for that.
If you haven't watched SDTV before then I will assume that you are mentally retarded and a long way from bad assness. This problem can be cured if you click the 'Swear Down TV' tab at the top of my page.
So that's the end of my half-assed, over-cynical, profanity peppered help. Click the little boxes at the bottom of this post and share this post on Twitter/Facebook and wherever else you can shove it really.
Until the next time I get gassed
Love, Peace and Trees bitches